Dealing with Fear and Doubt

I am taking part in a Biggest Loser type competition in my Battie group, and today was the official weigh in day.  I was 260.6 this morning!  Down 7.4 pounds from my starting weight!  I am so excited and motivated to get into the 250's!  I haven't been in the 250's since February of last year!  

As motivated as I am right now, I still have that thought of "How long will I keep this up?  What will derail me and when?" My track record for losing weight or maintaining diet and exercise has been pretty weak.  So my brain automatically goes to "You won't last."  

Yet while I have that fear of giving up, I also have a fear of asking for help.  I've written an email to my brother and sister-in-law, who run www.incrediblesmoothies.com and are diet and fitness gurus.  But I can't bring myself to send it.  I'm embarrassed to ask for help - embarrassed that I need to ask for help.  I'm thinking that they'll judge me for this, that they'll think (like I do) that this is another futile attempt and doubt that I can do it, or maybe that they'll try too hard to help - try to tell me what I should/should not eat, try to force me into green smoothies, or make me try to eat in a way that I can't handle or maintain.  And that if I don't eat that way, they'll say I'm sabotaging myself.  

So the email is sitting in my drafts, and I can't hit Send.  

I've told my mom about it. But I guess I did that because that feels safer.  My parents are both very overweight as well, and have about the same level of willpower.  In other words, they have also tired and failed many times at losing weight.  My mom has a lot of health problems and uses that as an excuse for not exercising.  My dad just has no willpower and caves when it comes to food.  He has diabetes.  Both of their health problems could have been either prevented or would be drastically improved with diet and exercise!  And I know that.  I don't want to end up like that.  And yet I know I'm the same way right now.  I feel like telling them about my goals is safer because they've tried and failed too...and they are more accepting of failing than my brother and sister in law.  My parents would judge me less, or not think "Yep, failed again!"

I need some success to keep pushing forward and keep me motivated, but then  I need to keep pushing forward to get that success.  And as long as things are moving, it's easier, but what happens when I plateau, or have a small gain?